"You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope." - Thomas Merton
When you lose traditions, you have to create new ones.
One of my newest traditions is buying a cheap bouquet of colorful flowers when I go to the grocery store. I bring the flowers back to my apartment, cut the stems down, put them in a pink plastic cup and place them on my dining room table.
Some days, the flowers are as simple as something to cheer me up when I get home.
Other days, the flowers remind me of life. Of blooming.
I've heard the saying "bloom where you are planted" plenty times, but I've never given it much thought. I've never really planted myself anywhere, moving from place to place even before I ever joined the Daughters, never staying anywhere more than two years. I prided myself on being a Vincentian nomad.
But now...now life is different. When I left the Daughters, I decided to stay in San Antonio, where I was already missioned. Part of it was because I love my ministry here. Yet, another reason I stayed was to actually plant myself somewhere. To my surprise, I was getting tired of the nomad life.
And now that I'm actually planted, it's time to bloom. Just my flowers in the water.
But blooming isn't instantaneous. Or easy.
Sometimes blooming feels like you're just running in place.
Sometimes blooming feels like a jump of joy.
Sometimes blooming feels like a Rubik's Cube of frustration, either with yourself or others.
Yet, either way, it's happening. I know it's happening.