Sunday, April 29, 2012

To Fellow Seasonal Allergy Sufferers: Don't Worry, I've Alerted God to the Situation


Dear God,
I hope You know I hate spring. Yes, that season everyone in the world loves because flowers are blooming, the weather is warming, everyone is all around happier in spring. The season poets write about. All hail the God of Creation who gave us spring, right?

You know I try my best to not hate. I do want to follow in the footsteps of Your Son, after all.
But I do hate seasonal allergies. I hate the itchy eyes, the sniffling, the sneezing, the general smell of pollen and pretty much everything else about it. I hate that there's whole months dedicated to the attack of seasonal allergies unto us innocent humans.

Hence, why I'm pretty angry You created the season of spring. Or because You gave me seasonal allergies. Take Your pick. (You know, whichever is less blasphemous)

You know, breathing through your nose is a pretty cool gift You gave us humans. And I think everyone would agree. Seems strange to take it away (or at least hinder it) from some of us every once in awhile. This itchy eye thing isn't very cool either....one day, I know I'll end up looking like the undead or at least a weird raccoon because the temptation to rub/scratch will just be too great for me to handle.

Just thought You should know.

Love,
 Amanda



PS: God, this was my subtle attempt to ask You to take the allergies away.
What was that, God?
"That's not the way it works".........what is that supposed to mean?!

PPS: Readers, don't take this too seriously. I am, however, pretty serious about hating seasonal allergies and spring.

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